Round two...

Officially starts today, yup the wonderful AF decided to show late Fri. Happy late Christmas to me which was day one putting today at CD3, when they wanted to see me again. I go in this morning bright and early with no appt. (since they don't pick up on the weekends to make an appt.) thankfully traffic wasn't to bad I couldn't deal with that too. I finally get called back and they thought I was there for a BETA , which is what I should have been there for :(. So I had to talk about it again and hear the I'm sorry's which is nice don't get me wrong it's just hard. At first they were saying I didn't need to come in and I thought I was going to loose it. I had to explain to them that my RE and nurse agreed they wanted me to come in on CD3 to make sure everything was clear and no cysts before getting started, then they saw my point.

Finally I go back for the ultrasound and I had to hear once again from the Tech. how sorry she was and if I was ok. Yes I was until you talk about it again which makes me tear up all over again, but it was nice for her to ask. She checks everything and everything was clear there are around 8 follies on each side under 10mm which is good and will probably stay in place to mature. I didn't get a chance to talk to our nurse for she wasn't there yet but I did get a script for the BCP for now. I guess she will get the word I was in today and work our schedule to send to me and get more meds ordered.

Today is DH's birthday it just breaks my heart I wasn't able to give him the Christmas/birthday miracle he wanted so badly. He's been amazing through it all I don't know if I would be able to continue without him. I'm scared to death to do this all over again I don't know that I can handle the devastation again. On the other hand I feel that if I don't I will never have peace knowing we did all we could and more answers. We have two more tries with insurance I pray to God with everything it happens so we don't have to think about the next steps.

I wish I could get out of this funk I've been in for the past few weeks. Christmas wasn't even the same this year I was late with everything including shopping which never happens. I was just in no mood for any of it. We were supposed to find out about our Christmas miracle not preparing for another round of IVF.