Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Once again

Hearing the words "I'm sorry the test was negative" is something that gets harder and harder each time I'm told it. We got the news after the BETA it was a BFN :( it broke my heart. It doesn't make sense how it could not have happened we had not one but TWO grade A embies and neither one stuck? I just don't get it and I know the RE will not have the answers either.

So we are looking at the possibility of IVF #3. From what I read it usually takes couples three attempts to achieve a pregnancy. This will be the last attempt for us so we have a lot riding on it and put it all in God's hands that it will finally work.

As I always say everything happens for a reason and as hard as it is I'm trying to accept and deal so I can move on :). Sometimes I just wish we knew those reasons.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

TWW torture

This is the longest TWW I have ever had to go through. You would think after three years I'd be costume to this and know how to deal. For some reason nothing is working this time. I've read everything I could online and searched for every little symptom. I wish I had more to report but so far nothing. Just a few things here and there which I'm sure are side effects of the IM shot so I'm trying not to read so much into it....easier said than done.

The big day for the BETA is 2/20 at 7AM it's either going to be the best or worst day ever! Looking back this day seemed forever away now I can't believe it's so close. I'm so scared of the results I don't want to hear it if it's not good news. Preparing yourself either way is impossible to do. Tomorrow will be 14DP3DT (14 days past three day transfer) and 17DPO (17 days past ovulation) .

Fingers crossed tight and lots of prayers God grants us the one wish we have dreamed about the last three years.

Transfer day

Wow what an amazing day! Transfer was set for 2/6 at 1:45PM and we had to be there by 1:30, time defiantly drug on that day. We were fortunate enough to meet up and have lunch with a dear friend Terri, her DH, and her DD Courtney, they are such wonderful people :). It was great finally meeting her and spending time with them since they had been at the same spot we were just a few short years ago.

After lunch we headed to the office I felt like I was going to explode. You have to have a full bladder by that time I was past the full mark. We waited a while to be called back and when we finally were we had to sit in the transfer room waiting for the RE to come in. That again took forever and by this point I was beyond comfortable it was not a good feeling. Finally she came in and went over the results there were two grade A embies at 7 cell they would be transferring back. She assured us they looked great and were definitely the best. There were also a few smaller but she didn't seem to think they would have made it much further so we knew we were getting the best.

I thought I was uncomfortable before what was next was 10x worse. That's when the poking and tools came out and the legs up in the air again. To top it off the Nurse that was there was doing the ultrasound pushing as hard as she could right on my stomach ugh! I laid there for what seemed like forever and really thought I was going to loose it. The RE made a comment I did a great job with the full bladder they had a clear shot...um thanks! After getting the catheter in place and everything else she was doing the Embryologist came in with the embies for transfer :). During the actual transfer you could see the catheter and fluid on the ultrasound which was amazing. Just thinking those are our babies bought instant tears to my eyes. No matter how uncomfortable it was it was for such a great cause I didn't mind a bit. To top it off the Embryologist said she had a picture if we were interested. Are you kidding me of course we were so she printed it off and gave it to us. We now keep it in a spot where it can be seen in the house to remind us how fortunate we are to have gotten this far.

After the transfer they had me lay there for five minutes before I could use the restroom. That seemed like the longest five minutes of my life. Nine minutes later DH says time is up he had let me lay there four extra minutes and I didn't even know it :). I took off out the door so fast and was in the restroom FOREVER!!!!! Such relief :). I was all set for the next set of instructions after that!

Another Nurse came in and went over everything the #1 thing was bed rest for 24 hours. I didn't see that coming but was more than happy to kick back and let the beans settle in. After that time frame light activities for the next 5 - 7 days so that meant DH was it for cleaning duty :). When we got home I kicked back and didn't get up for anything but to use the restroom DH did everything else for me <3.

Our first picture of our beautiful babies :)

Embie update

We found out on 2/4 that out of 11 eggs retrieved, eight matured, and we had six embies :). Much better than last time when we found out that out of 10 eggs 0 matured. We were way happy with this news and prayed hard they would continue to grow. The next days results were great there were two embies that were dividing as they should and they set my transfer for 2/6 (3 day transfer). The other embies were lagging a little and one had begun to disintegrate :(. We were on pins and needles thinking anything could happen before transfer and we wouldn't make it that far again. Thank God for answering our prayers everything was still on track.

Our RE called the night before retrieval and told us how pleased he was with the results this time and everything looked perfect. He also said he recommends transferring two since they were the best and we happily agreed. His assurance was just what we needed and meant so much that he called.

Retrieval day

Since we were first on the list for retrieval that meant we had to be there early. It's a good two hour trip on a good day throw in rush hour traffic and we had a little bad weather we had to leave three and a half hours early to make sure we were there on time. Thankfully we were and once we got there we didn't have to wait long until they called us back. The same routine undress, put the gown on, put the booties on, put the cap on, and lay on the stretcher. The Nurse came in went over all the paper work and did vitals everything was good. The Anaesthetic finally came in and started the IV line. We waited for what seemed like forever for the RE to come in and finally say we were ready. Once they we were ready I was on my into the OR and DH was escorted to the "happy room" :). I don't remember much once I got in there just giving my information and asking me to throw the legs up and lay down.

Once I came to DH wasn't there waiting like he was the first time. The Nurse was a little worried because my pulse and blood pressure were high so she waited until it went down a little to get him. Once I started to wake up a little it was immediate pain the first time it was bearable and Tylenol did the trick. Not this time it didn't touch it and the Nurse could tell. She called in a Rx to the Pharmacy in their building and said I need to get it I will need it. Of course when I pick it up it's Vicodin, I hate that stuff it makes me sick every time I take it. I had to have something though the pain was terrible. So we decided to stop at Panera and get something to eat since I hadn't had anything. That didn't go well between the pain and discomfort of sitting I didn't want anything or to be there so we headed home.

Once home I spent the rest of the day sleeping and resting with a heating pad. Felt nauseous all day thanks to Vicodin so I still hadn't had anything to eat. Finally by dinner time I found myself hovering over the toilet and I felt 10x better and finally able to eat. Ugh no more of that stuff again it was awful. I was a lot more sore this time and it took a few days to be able to move normal again. Not sure what was so different between the first and second but everything this time was more intense.

It's been a while

Wow have I've neglected from writing. A lot has happened since the meds arrived. I began 150iU Bravelle and Menopur injections on1/22 which continued for seven days then the Menopur was increased to 225iU for the remaining three days. I also began Ganirelix (which was already pre-filled woohoo) on 1/28 until 2/1 as well. After tons of monitoring everything was right on track the follies were growing perfectly so we triggered at 7PM on 2/1 (10,000 units of Novarel) and our retrieval was set for 2/3 at 7AM. 2/2 was a free day no injections just the Zithromax (antibiotic) and nothing to eat or drink after midnight.

This was the nightly routine with Ganirelix included (gray cap), which required no mixing. The other vials were all mixed with 1CC of the water (green cap) into the other syringe.